Month: December 2005

OK, that’s it, I’m having a piñata for my birthday on the 17th too. After an above par chicken and veggie soup I made with ingredients and everything, we passed by Chop, then a haphazard taxi ride to Los Famosos Equipales for mariachi cantina action and then on to La Maestranza for a bit of Toreador-themed fun. We made it back to the house and Ed got to smash the piñata to pieces with a broom handle. It’s better than the bumps every time. If I can work out how to stream video I’ll shove it up here, he looks like a man possessed.

Sita brought back all kinds of goodies from the states including spanking new trainers from her folks, the latest issues of Q, Uncut and several other music mags, a rug for the kitchen, decent cutlery, Barefoot Zinfandel from Trader Joe’s and a telephone so I won’t have to rush downstairs only to get another call from someone calling to request a song from a local radio station with one number different. And yes, she managed to swing an executive class upgrade again. Filet Mignon and fine wine apparently. I’ve got the airport run down to 22 minutes, though it’s taken me 1 hour plus to get back both times now taking the Tlaquepaque ’scenic route’.

Had a bit of skypage this morning with me mum and dad’s new handle because I can’t remember their password- please click ‘allow this person so see when I’m online’ if that pops up on yer skype thing. Somewhere along the line I checked a box saying let anyone and everyone call me and spent 15 minutes yesterday talking about the finer points of living in Mexico with someone from Toronto. I told him I enjoyed the space ride thing they had (and still have apparently) at the bottom of the CN tower. But then the soup was ready and I had to bid them farewell and hastily block people not on my contacts list, because life’s too short.

Once we’ve cleared up the papier mache remains of the chicken pinata we’ll off to the Instituto Cultural Cabanas to gawp at the murals and stroke our chins at whatever art they’ve got on display. Definitely a quiet day today. Sita’s not coming because she’ll be off there with our next visitors and she wants to avoid it becoming the Mystery Spot of Guadalajara (a place we’d take everyone who came to visit and thus ended up with 8+ complimentary bumper stickers)…

We’re heading for Puerto Vallarta soonish, despite every hotel being sold out. But maybe we can turn up and Sita can use her newfound ‘Upgrade me’ skills to get us a room. Also, Ian + family are passing by on Monday so I’m looking forward to that and all. If the blog’s a bit quiet for a few days, you’ll know why… Cheers and Bliain úr faoi shéan is faoi mise duit and Blwyddwyn Newydd Dda mes amis

I woke up this morning with my arm aching, mainly because the only bowling balls that fit my fingers were the extremely heavy ones. Despite Ed not having played for 15 years, allegedly, he beat me 4 games to 3. We were getting quite good by the end of it too. Today it’s Sita’s grand return from L.A., shall be intrigued to hear if she managed to get upgraded to first class on the way back as well as the first leg… Some people just exude classiness. Anyroad, it’s also Ed’s birthday today and bowling may feature again if I can get some Deep Heat salve somewhere… Pretty much everything was closed yesterday so today it’s stocking up in the supermarket for provisions for the imminent arrival of Sita, Monica & Daniel, and possibly Sarita’s cousin from Chile who’s in the United States of Mexico right now. All will become apparent in the next few days.
Did I mention I start my job on Jan 9th? and I haggled the hours down to 10 to 5 M-F… I’m actually looking forward to starting and it’s nice to finally have a finite point when my holidays finish. Eeh well, Ed just surfaced to it’s off to carpe the diem. Merry Xmas-NewYear lull, enjoy the telly

On the church clock, usually the apostles come out every 3 hours. For Christmas they swapped the apostolitos with nativity figures and played Jingle Bells. Couldn’t be any more christmassy than that. Doing grand, enjoying the holiday. We went round Jose’s family for Xmas dinner last night. Very laid back and fun. Life is good. Merry Christmas Y’all

Although I’d earn more money signing up for unemployment benefit in the UK I’m going to take the job. It’s a seriously cool little company and I’d get to learn all kinds of editing skills, travel making documentaries about Mexico and do background research on projects. I’d meet interesting people, artists and the like. Maybe there’s a book in it when I get round to writing thinking of an idea for my novel… I’d get to play with toys like High Definition cinematography cameras, professional digital cameras, & video and audio editing suites. And probably the coffee machine too. I’ve got 3 hours to decide for sure, so if anyone knows of any impediment comment now or forever hold your peace. Me Mum’s already weighed in in favour so there we go… Shall have to start brushing up on my Mac skills.

In other news, it looks like the UK’s taking yet another leap towards being a totalitarian police state. There’s already more CCTV cameras per capita in the UK than any other country in the world. I give it 2 years before face recognition technology is integrated into the system. I can’t believe this is the first I’ve heard about it and not through The Guardian, but sterling multiperson blog, BoingBoing.net. Here in Guadalajara querida y linda, it’s only foreign embassies and pop stars who can afford CCTV. But there’s an armed security guard for every bank/bureau de change/jewellers so that’s reassuring…

and Ian if you’re telling the truth in your email and really heading for pinche Guanatos with family in tow, y no nos honras con tu ilustre presencia, pues ya lo cagaste, guey.

Change Wind
Stop Snowing

Glad I’m not looking for a position in academia… Sita sent me this article from some online journal or other “Bloggers need not apply”

I had another job interview yesterday for a really cool little design company. I’d be a glorified office assistant and have the chance to learn the ropes of documentary making/ sound editing. It would be full time. Anyroad, if I get it I’d start of Jan 3rd full time. So fingers crossed for that one. And talking of audio editing here’s the latest 2350k MP3 of me playing Here Comes the Sun. I don’t have a capo with me so I recorded it played at the neck of the guitar then whacked it up 7 semitones with Audacity. There’s actually 4 tracks on there, the chords, the melody, another melody bit and a whistled acompaniment that, if I got it right, only dogs can hear.

Ed, if you’re out there, give us a ring/email with details on when (if) you’re getting here. Thanks like.

Erm what else? My up-to-now wonderful laptop cut out this morning. It had overheated, so it’s now propped up on stilts made of mini post it notes. I hope that sorts it out. I think it’s too much scrabble or maybe skype. Probably time to back up a few files… And the photo by this entry is a pic of the photos by my computer, the rest are on the fridge. Kodak gave me $9.99 commision since various people signed up and bought photos of Meg and Matt’s wedding. So I spent it printing photos of family and friends. They arrived the same day as the (extortionate) phone/internet bill which softened the blow a bit.

Another day, another picture of Sita posing with people in costume. Yesterday we went to Guadalajara’s annual pet expo, which had something for everyone. Sita got to spend time with dogs because she misses Atticus something chronic. I got to experiment with low light indoor settings on my camera (with limited success). I also won a rubber ball. One stand was asking questions like what was Lassie’s name, how many dogs make 5? etc. then they asked does anyone have a photo of their dog in their pocket? And I couldn’t resist so I whipped out the picture (it’s v. small, it’s from the catalogue page of all your photos when you order prints) and won myself the prize. They asked ‘De dónde nos visitas?’ and I said Inglaterra, which is probably the furthest anyone’s every come to visit their expo. After all the fun of the fair (photo slideshow here, incidentally, CAUTION, Mum, MAY CONTAIN IGUANAS- have cushion ready at the ready) we were off to Gigante for supplies and Sita made a v. nice lemony chicken affair and I made the guacamole. The picture’s of me in the kitchen modeling my brand new Parque Metrolpolitano Voluntario T-Shirt…

And, as promised, here’s my rendition of Land of My Fathers the Welsh national anthem. I can’t say I was overly familiar with it but I likes a challenge. It’s not exactly the Morriston Orpheus Male Voice Choir, in fact it’s more like a cross between a Greek drinking song, an Italian wedding and a Welsh primary school recorder club, but here we go. Comment away and keep the requests coming, something more upbeat next time Click here to download/ play this, frankly poor, start to the series…landofmyfathers.mp3 (1396k file)

mysterytechno.mp3 (368k file) This has been bothering me on and off for the best part of 5 years. What is this intro from. It’s a cheesy chart techno song from the late 80s/ early 90s, it’s followed by someone (possibly the woman of the BodyForm ad, “Whoaaaaaa, Bodyform…”) singing ‘It’s coming over and makes me feel…’. Since that’s the only lyrics I know (and I’m not 100%), it’s impossible to google. If anyone out there in ciberespacio has any idea, let me know through the comments/ skype or gmail. Many tas, gwyn

PS. Brand new idea for the blog. I’ll take requests for songs in the ‘comments’ and record them and post them, virtual busking. The catch is that you have to stand me a pint of scrumpy/ boddington’s next time I see you (you’re probably safe for at least 12 months…). For the first person to make a request it’s on the house though. If I don’t know the song I’ll say as much. I play all sorts from Velvet Underground to Shakira, Spice Girls to Mariachi. Bring it on, as they said in the cheerleeding film which somehow I’ve now seen 4 times from beginning to end…

495 points for me and 340 for young Sita. I got four, count’em, four 7 letter words, or “Bingos” as we Scrabble geeks call them, seeming, roasted, gentled, and strainer (8 letters, but who’s counting?). In our defence, although we were playing Scrabble on a Friday night, we’d been out the night before with friends and stuff. And we were listening to contemporary Mexican trance. And we made our own pizza and had fine wine. Oh alright, it’s nothing to be proud of…

And while we’re sort of on the subject of photogenic beasties, this blog rounds up the cutest animal pictures on the interweb so you don’t have to.

Doubtless you’ve heard the furore surrounding it as American Christian Fundamentalists adopted it as their own citing the penguin’s incredible journey as evidence of God’s work and pro-family values. The other side came back with, but they’re only monogamous for one year, it’s a very hard life for a benign deity to proscribe, and that’s not even mentioning the whole gay penguins “thing“. If you never got round to my review (and I won’t blame you) here’s an easy to follow link to the review I wrote in August. On Amazon.com, 1 of 5 people found it helpful, so there you go.

I went to the Parque people today to find out the latest on the site and they’re only asking for it to be a scalable size, ie. 95% of the screen rather than a fixed width. That’s not a minor change. But they’re on ‘oliday till 6th Jan so that gives me a chance during the “Guadalupe Reyes” period (an expression Jose explained last night as being from the 12 Dec to 6th of Jan). Oh, and they’d like a visitor counter too. See here under “You Know You’re In Content Hell When You See…”. Ah well, I’m just the designer… Jose reckon’s there’s a 90% chance I’ll get the kindergarten gig though v. soon and he’s invited me’n’Ed to christmas dinner round his house. So it’s all good.

Awoken from my translation work by 4 way skype madness. Canada, Spain, UK and Mejico. Such was my shock I said Pro Rata instead of Pro Bono. That’ll learn me for employing latin phrases in casual conversation.

I went round the place I had an interview with yesterday, but no news. The Americans who interviewed me had fled (flewn? flown? fleas?) back to Utah and everyone will hear by email. I won’t hold my breath though. Maybe my demands of five hundred quid a month for a 40 hour week were too high… Anyroad, no worries, just don’t forget to send anyone looking for web sites to this self-taught, outsourced English bloke in Guadalajara whose blog you stumble by occasionally…

I painted the other half of the living room today, an off-white taupey colour. Can’t really tell the difference myself, but Sita’s happy and that’s the main thing. How many living rooms can boast 5 ifferent colours? Eh? I wrote an Xmas card to one of me grandmothers, Nanny. She’s not on Skype yet so I had recourse to use MS Word. My faith in the Mexican postal system is not 100%. The DVDs of the tour of the house never arrived at either my nor Sita’s folks, and I’m guessing Jesse’s SPSS never arrived neither. Although things seem to get to us OK.

Two collisions at the crossroads in front of our house today. I was wondering when it was going to happen again, it’d been almost a fortnight. No injuries as usual, just major damage. If I have any red paint from the kitchen left I’m going to sneak out in the middle of the night and put a large “STOP” sign on the side road, or maybe the piles of shattered presurized glass will be enough.

I’m already regretting that the film we’re off to see in 10 mins (Wednesdays are 25peso cinema days) is “In her shoes” (en sus zapatos). Not that I go to see films with preconceptions or anything, but I’m thinking it’s not going to merit many more than 3 Lulus. We shall see.

Back to the Matera tomorrow night to hear Jose’s latest escapades and sample animals cooked to perfection. “Mi vida es una telenovela,” he told me on the mobile phone, “Mala y barata”. Bless.

In other news. It’s very sunny round here. T-shirt and shorts again. And finally have a pic of Sita and me in an Agave field 2 years ago. I made a thank you card for the bloke who spent 3 hours filling us in on the history of Mayahuel. If you have any questions about tequila, I reckon we can handle any of them. Oh and click here on this button thing: nothing bad will happen. Promise.

But here’s our Xmas card to YOU! Don’t forget to turn your speakers up full Click HERE (380K, may be slow on dial-up).
And ask Father Christmas for broadband…

I just checked the Aztec Calendar and it’s only 12 days to Christmas. Leaving me a mere “13 days to perfect the Way of the Scavenger”. And I thought our astrology was cryptic…

Dad just sent me his xmas ecard. Our little village in the snow. Lovely. All 10.5 meg of it I’m still trying to think of what to photoshop this year. I’m going to put together a favourite picture from each month in 2005 slideshow soon too. Stay tuned.

And thank all kinds of Aztec deities for the Internet Movie DataBase. I was trying to work out where I’d seen Mr Tumnus from the Lion, the Witch etc. last night. He’s the car thief boyfriend bloke out of Shameless. Fine series that.

A fair while ago near Mexico City, in 1531 if Google serves me correctly, the Virgin of Guadalupe appeared to Juan Diego. Juan was a young Indian boy and spoke Nahuatl, just like my Dad (see comments in the previous post). La Virgen told him to build a church on that there spot. He was on his own, and an Indian to boot, so the Catholic priests didn’t believe him. He went back to the place she’d appeared and she made a rose bush bloom (not common in the winter). He took the roses back to them as proof. The blanket he’d wrapped them in had a Turin-shroud-like perfect impression of said Virgin. Not long after, most natives converted to Catholicism. So the Virgin of Guadalupe is sort of representative of the mestizo (mixed) heritige of Mexico’s native and European roots. She incorporates all kinds of indigenous Nahuatl female deity imagery with her moon, stars and sun and is a more palatable version of Christianity for the local populations.

Apparently the celebrations kick off in a bigger way come 5pm, but I’ll be hungry by then and fixing to go and see films about wardrobes and allegorical big cats. So I left at around 12ish and asked our neighbour, Sra Teresa where the church with all the celebrations take place, she pointed me in the right direction and I started my pilgrimage. 24 blocks later I arrived at a church/fairground filled with kiddies in traditional Mexican garb being photographed with the virgin, blessed in the church and some were lucky enough to get tied to giant bungee cords and flung into the sky (I have pictures…).

All very nice. I also found a place in the city center that does courses on Flash and other stuff pretty cheaply so I may look into that soon too. That’s all for now, off now to eat and watch CGI lions. Cheers. Click HERE for a slideshow of all today’s photos.

The visual cue from it’s French origin “dame jeanne”, a wide hipped lady is delightfully sensual… apparently. So that sort of makes sense, although Lady Jane must have had a very odd looking head. With big ears maybe.

Click on “More” or “Comment” below and you’ll see some of the transcription I’m working on about Mayahuel, the Aztec goddess of the Agave. Ocelots, humming birds and human sacrifice aplenty.

So I’ll show you how Mayahuel was born. It’s a personal class, just for you!

OK

They say that the Kingdoms of Heaven used to include Earth too. Gods used to walk the Earth and the heavens, and they changed into strange beings. They were very… If they wanted to be wind, they’d be wind, or fire, or gods or humans, or trees or plants. They could pass through all these states. At the very beginning there’s this woman, who gives birth to Gods. She is Cuacuitle, the one with the skirt of serpents. Here she’s alive, but then she has to die and merge with the soil of mother Earth, decapitated and dismembered, a sacrifice which allowed humanity to survive, but which has to be repaid as shown by her collar of hands and hearts. So here, she’s dead, but before, when she was alive she was like this… Her daughter, xixlales, the stars and this woman was called coloachowski (?).

[I arrive…]

We’re talking about Mayahuel, the goddess of agaves, of fecundity and fertility. This is Coatquitle, She’s the mother of all the gods, she’s a cuatl, Coatlquinque, she has daughters, stars and this woman colaochowski. So one day she was dusting her palace and she found some hummingbird feathers so she picked them up and put them in the back of her skirt, and so she got pregnant. Coloachowski realised that her mother had got pregnant and so she wants to kill her so she doesn’t have this child. But in her womb, the son hears her, and her sister and (his name is huitislospostre, which means the left-handed hummingbird, because his dad is a humming bird). Later Huitizlapostre is going to be the King/God of the Aztecs, god of War, spiritual guide and representative of the sun. But in the meantime, he hears his sister saying she wants to kill them so he comes out of his mothers womb as a warrior and kills her sister. And you may think what a terrible thing, but didn’t Cain kill Abel? Well, they go off, and the sister is killed, he cuts of her hands, legs and head, they bury her and she turns to stone. This stone exists- it’s in the Templo Mayor in Mexico City.

She turns to stone and her spirit rises to the heavens and forms the moon. Moon is mixti o metl. Metl, which is Mezcal. So we have the starts and the moon. So then after creating man, there was only darkness. So the Gods get together and decide to create a star which will give light and warmth to all the humans. So they make a sun of water, which in Nauhatl is atl. And sun is totnatu, so the sun made of water is atltonato.

Like Tonala is the ciudad del Sol? (Gwyn)
No, [pendejo], Tonala is where the sun rises…

So this sun, when its rays are emitted, they’re water, so the humans have to become fish to survive because there’s a flood. You see how this is like the jewish tradition, with fratricide, a flood… So that’s water. Like with Mayahuel

They got rid of this sun, and made a new one so called the Sun of the Ocelot, the nahuat name for tiger. It’s a sun that stays there in the sky without moving. So the humans born under this sun are born giants, and they have to eat the vegetables, but when they fall to the earth that’s so hot, that it eats them up. They all end up being eaten up by the tigers.

Then comes quiagua, the brother or Tlaloq (water of rain), and quiagua (water of fire, water from volcanoes). So now we have oceans, and marine life, and deserts, now we need volcanoes. So humans to save themselves from the volcanoes have to become birds and fly away. So that’s how they explain the existence of birds.

Then comes the 4th sun, acatl, wind. Strong winds blow and all the human disperse throughout the world and turn into monkeys. So it’s all explained, there’s sea, mountains, desert, all kinds of animals. And they’re seeing that the sun’s still not how they want it, so each time all the humans all die they keep their bones and spread them like seeds and this god defecated on their bones. They were all pissed off at him for having dirtied the humans’ bones, and that’s why we humans get ill. He’s called Nanahuatzin, he says what humanity needs is a sun that moves, which makes night and day. So he goes into the fire and becomes the man of fire and goes to heaven. You’ll see El Hombre de Fuego in el centro Cabanas. He is nahuatzin, who goes to heaven in the form of the sun. But look, si if you cover this part of his name, what does it say? Nahuat. The tribe who look after the sun. This is represented here in the Stone of Sun. Here, the 1st sun, of water, 2nd of the tiger, 3rd of quiagua (representation of a crocodile) and 4th of wind. This is the 5th sun. It has its blond hair and a tongue in the shape of an obsidian knife because it’s asking for sacrifice of human beings. Why? Because he needs the strength, because in the (Mixlan) night there’s a bad star who wants to kill the sun. We’ll talk about him later.

So that’s why they wanted to kill humans.

Yes it was to give the sun strength to attack the star that wanted to kill the sun. So this sun, so it doesn’t fall out of the firmament, has claws and holds on tight to the universe. And here are the symbols of the numbers, 2, 0, 1, 2. 2012 which is the year when the 5th sun is supposed to end. Right now we’re in the 5th sun’s reign. So they had to remove the hearts to battle against the stars that were devourers of light. This is xiximitl,

Mayahuel’s grandmother?

Yes, here she is.
END OF SIDE 1

A pleasant day chilling in Amatitan and Tequila, Jalisco. I learnt that the Spanish for Demijohn is Dama Juana, which makes sense. Don’t know which word came first… Ah here we go: “Probably alteration of French dame-Jeanne : dame, lady; see dame + Jeanne, personal name.” Doesn’t really explain why, but that’s something to google another day.

Now I fancy watching a film or summink. Pictures from today should eventually be here and also on Flickr. The photo to the right’s my favourite.